We spend years learning how to read, write, work, drive, and use technology. Yet most of us receive little practical education about something we face throughout life: person-to-person conflict.
We may be told to “stay calm,” “talk it out,” or “work it out.” But what should we address first? How can we explain our experience clearly? How do we listen without immediately arguing? And how might two people move toward a peaceful, workable outcome?
PeaceDNA offers a simple map (a recipe) made up of six Guiding Questions (GQ) that direct the line of questioning to uncover hidden elements and expose ‘blind spots’ in a speaker’s story. It also covers all 3 steps of PeaceDNA.
PeaceDNA is an AI-assisted peace-education project that organizes practical ideas for navigating everyday person-to-person—or P2P—conflict. It is intended for conflicts involving family members, friends, neighbors, coworkers, classmates, and others who are willing and reasonably able to communicate peacefully.
PeaceDNA is an educational framework, not a scientifically proven formula. It is an archetype for conflict resolution. It cannot guarantee honesty, understanding, empathy, agreement, or resolution. Instead, it provides a simple route that may help people slow down, organize the conversation, and reduce avoidable misunderstandings.
The PeaceDNA Map follows three Steps: Conditions, Conflict Positions, and Remedy. Six Guiding Questions help mark the route.
Step 1: Conditions
Before discussing the problem, both people consider whether peaceful communication is reasonably possible:
GQ1. Are we willing, ready, and reasonably able to address this peacefully?
Conditions may include safety, timing, privacy, emotional intensity, tone, body language, fatigue, intoxication, fear, and each person’s freedom to speak, disagree, pause, or leave. Conditions do not need to be perfect, but there must be enough willingness and self-control to continue without violence, coercion, or persistent verbal attack (FOULs).
PeaceDNA is not intended for immediate danger, abuse, or coercive control. In unsafe situations, leaving, seeking help, or contacting an appropriate authority may be necessary. Willingness can also be withdrawn at any time.
Step 2: Conflict Positions
When peaceful Conditions exist, each person can explore their Conflict Position—the place from which they currently experience the conflict. PeaceDNA separates that position into three connected parts:
- Facts: What happened that could be directly observed or reasonably verified?
- Feelings: What emotions did the person experience?
- Beliefs: What meaning did the person give the experience?
Separating these parts does not prove who is right or reveal the complete truth. Memory can be incomplete, feelings can be difficult to name, and beliefs can be mistaken. However, the separation may help people notice assumptions, identify missing information, and communicate more clearly.
The three conflict position/interest questions can be asked in any order and revisited as understanding develops:
GQ 2. What happened? (Facts)
GQ 3. What did you feel? (Feelings)
GQ 4. What did you believe it meant? (Beliefs)
Step 3: Remedy
After both Conflict Positions have been explored, the conversation can turn toward what happens next:
GQ 5. What do you want now to help resolve this conflict peacefully?
GQ 6. What will you do now to help resolve this conflict peacefully?
A workable Remedy should be peaceful, practical, reasonably clear, and freely accepted. It might include an apology, repaired harm, changed behavior, a boundary, or a future plan. Resolution does not always mean agreement. Sometimes the best available outcome is acceptance, respectful disagreement, outside assistance, or separation.
Three supporting skills may help people ‘travel’ the Map:
FOUL Buster uses respectful questions to address certain non-dangerous verbal FOULs without answering with another FOUL.
Kanji Listening encourages listening to understand before evaluating, correcting, defending, or persuading.
Rephrase for Yes restates something already said as a short question the speaker can confirm, correct, or reject. Its limited purpose is to check understanding—not manufacture agreement.
PeaceDNA does not promise perfect results or an end to conflict. It offers a developing framework whose ideas can be named, practiced, questioned, tested, and improved. If it helps you approach even one difficult conversation more peacefully, please pay that knowledge forward.