PeaceDNA Mediation: The Changed Recreation Plan
People
- Aaliyah: Teen program leader
- Marcus: Recreation leader
- Nina: Youth development supervisor and neutral mediator
Conflict: Marcus changed a planned gym activity without telling Aaliyah. Aaliyah believes he undermined her leadership. Marcus believes he acted to prevent a conflict among the youth.
Step 1: Conditions
Nina meets privately with Aaliyah and Marcus after the youth have gone home.
Nina: “My role is to guide the PeaceDNA process, not decide who is right. Are you both willing to speak honestly, listen without interrupting, be respectful, protect the young people’s privacy, and work toward a peaceful solution?”
Aaliyah: “Yes, I am willing.”
Marcus: “Yes, I am willing.”
Nina: “We will use Kanji Listening—ears, eyes, heart, mind, and full attention. Each person will complete a full POV exploration before we discuss remedies.”
Step 2: POV Positions (Aaliyah’s POV)
GQ2: What happened?
Nina: “Aaliyah, what happened?”
Aaliyah: “I planned a basketball tournament for Friday’s teen program. When I returned from helping a parent, Marcus had canceled it and started open recreation.”
Nina: “What had been agreed to before the program?”
Aaliyah: “Marcus and I agreed that I would lead the tournament and he would supervise the equipment area.”
Nina: “How long were you away?”
Aaliyah: “About ten minutes.”
Nina: “Did you tell Marcus where you were going?”
Aaliyah: “I told him I needed to speak with a parent near the front desk. I did not say exactly how long it would take.”
Nina: “What did you observe when you returned?”
Aaliyah: “Some youth were playing basketball, while others were using jump ropes and table games. Marcus told everyone the tournament was canceled.”
Nina: “What happened next?”
Aaliyah: “I asked Marcus why he changed my activity. He said the tournament was causing problems. Several youth were close enough to hear us.”
GQ3: How did you feel?
Nina: “How did you feel when you discovered the plan had changed?”
Aaliyah: “I felt embarrassed, frustrated, and pushed aside.”
Nina: “What concerned you most?”
Aaliyah: “I was concerned that the youth would stop seeing me as a leader. I had spent time creating teams and making the activity fair.”
Nina: “Did those feelings affect your response?”
Aaliyah: “Yes. I raised my voice and told Marcus he had no right to cancel my program.”
GQ4: What do you believe or think?
Nina: “What did you believe Marcus was trying to do?”
Aaliyah: “I believed he wanted control of the program and did not respect my role.”
Nina: “What information supported that belief?”
Aaliyah: “He changed the plan without asking me. He also announced the change to the entire group.”
Nina: “What information did you not have?”
Aaliyah: “I did not know exactly what happened while I was speaking with the parent.”
Nina: “What effect did the situation have on the youth?”
Aaliyah: “Some youth looked confused. A few started arguing about whether the tournament should continue.”
End-of-POV Rephrase for Yes: Aaliyah
Nina: “Let me make sure I understand your complete POV.
Are you saying that you and Marcus agreed that you would lead the tournament while he supervised the equipment area? And you left for about ten minutes to help a parent and when you returned, Marcus had canceled the tournament and started open recreation without consulting you?
Do you mean you felt embarrassed, frustrated, and pushed aside. You were concerned that the sudden change could weaken your leadership relationship with the youth. and you believed Marcus did not respect your role, although you did not yet know everything that happened while you were away? And you recognize that raising your voice in front of the youth added tension to the situation?
Did I correctly understand the facts, feelings, beliefs, concerns, and effects from your point of view?”
Aaliyah: “Yes.”
Nina: “Is there anything important I missed or stated incorrectly?”
Aaliyah: “No. That explains my POV.”
(Marcus’s POV)
GQ2: What happened?
Nina: “Marcus, what happened from your point of view?”
Marcus: “After Aaliyah left, two youth began arguing over a foul. Other youth joined the argument, and one participant threw the basketball against the wall.”
Nina: “What did you do first?”
Marcus: “I stopped the game, separated the two youth, and checked that everyone was safe.”
Nina: “What happened after that?”
Marcus: “Several youth wanted to continue, but the argument kept starting again. I decided to cancel the tournament and offer different activities.”
Nina: “Did you try to contact Aaliyah?”
Marcus: “No. I knew she was speaking with a parent, and I did not want to interrupt.”
Nina: “Did you contact Nina or another supervisor?”
Marcus: “No. I believed I could handle it.”
Aaliyah: “You always take over whenever something gets difficult.”
Marcus: “At least I don’t walk away and leave everyone else to handle my program.”
FOUL
Nina: “FOUL. We need to stop.”
Nina pauses the POV discussion immediately.
Nina: “Aaliyah, saying Marcus ‘always’ takes over turned one event into a personal accusation. Marcus, saying Aaliyah walked away suggested that she abandoned the program, even though she was helping a parent. Both statements disrupted our respectful Conditions agreement, remember?”
Restore the Conditions
Nina: “We are returning to Step 1. Take a breath and focus on this event rather than attacking each other’s character. Are you both still willing to listen respectfully and work toward a solution?”
Aaliyah: “Yes. I will focus on what Marcus did that day instead of saying he always takes over.”
Marcus: “Yes. I should not have suggested that Aaliyah abandoned the program.”
Nina: “The Conditions are restored. Marcus has not completed his POV, so we will return to it. We are not ready to discuss remedies.”
GQ3: How did you feel?
Nina: “Marcus, how did you feel when the argument started?”
Marcus: “I felt concerned and under pressure. I was responsible for a large group by myself.”
Nina: “How did you feel when Aaliyah questioned your decision?”
Marcus: “I felt blamed for trying to keep the group safe.”
Nina: “Did those feelings affect your response?”
Marcus: “Yes. I became defensive and spoke disrespectfully.”
GQ4: What do you believe or think?
Nina: “What did you believe was the main concern?”
Marcus: “I believed stopping the conflict and preventing it from restarting were more important than finishing the tournament.”
Nina: “What assumption did you make about Aaliyah?”
Marcus: “I assumed she would be unavailable until the parent conversation ended.”
Nina: “Did you confirm that assumption?”
Marcus: “No.”
Nina: “Why did you choose open recreation?”
Marcus: “I thought smaller activities would separate the youth and lower the tension.”
Nina: “What part of the situation could you control?”
Marcus: “I could stop the game and separate the youth. I also could have sent Aaliyah a message or contacted a supervisor before changing the full program.”
Nina: “What effect did your decision have?”
Marcus: “It reduced the immediate conflict, but it confused Aaliyah and some of the youth.”
End-of-Position Rephrase for Yes: Marcus
Nina: “Let me make sure I understand your complete Position.
“Are you saying that after Aaliyah left to help a parent, an argument began during the tournament? And one youth threw a ball against the wall, so you stopped the game, separated the participants, and checked everyone’s safety. And when the conflict began to restart, you canceled the tournament and offered smaller activities.
You felt concerned, under pressure, and later blamed for trying to protect the group. You believed open recreation would lower the tension. You assumed Aaliyah was unavailable, but you did not try to contact her or another supervisor.
And you now recognize that you could have addressed the immediate safety concern and then communicated before changing the rest of the program?
Did I correctly understand the facts, feelings, beliefs, concerns, and effects from your point of view?”
Marcus: “Yes.”
Nina: “Is there anything important I missed or stated incorrectly?”
Marcus: “No. That explains my POV.”
Nina: “Both complete POVs have now been spoken, heard, summarized, and confirmed. We can move to Remedy.”
Step 3: Remedy
GQ5: What remedy do you want?
Nina: “Aaliyah, what remedy do you want?”
Aaliyah: “I want Marcus to contact me before changing an activity I am leading, unless there is an immediate safety emergency.”
Nina: “What would help you respond quickly?”
Aaliyah: “A short radio call or message explaining what happened.”
Nina: “Marcus, what remedy do you want?”
Marcus: “I want us to have a clear plan for who takes charge when one staff member must leave the activity.”
Nina: “What support would help during a serious youth conflict?”
Marcus: “I want permission to call another staff member instead of managing the entire group alone.”
GQ6: What remedy will you offer?
Nina: “Aaliyah, what will you offer?”
Aaliyah: “Before stepping away, I will tell Marcus where I am going, how long I expect to be gone, and whether he has temporary authority over the activity.”
Nina: “Marcus, what will you offer?”
Marcus: “I will respond to immediate safety concerns first. Once everyone is safe, I will contact Aaliyah or a supervisor before making a major program change.”
Nina: “What will you both do if you disagree while youth are present?”
Aaliyah: “We will avoid arguing in front of them.”
Marcus: “We will use a short pause phrase and discuss the disagreement privately.”
Shared Agreement
Nina records the agreement:
- A staff member who steps away will identify who is temporarily leading the activity.
- Staff may immediately stop an activity when there is a safety concern.
- Once the immediate danger has passed, major program changes will be discussed with the activity leader or supervisor.
- Staff will use radios or messages for quick updates.
- Staff will not argue, blame, or criticize one another in front of youth.
- Youth conflicts will be documented according to program policy.
- Nina will review staff coverage for large-group activities.
- The team will review the agreement after two weeks.
Nina: “Do you both understand and willingly accept this agreement?”
Aaliyah: “Yes. I feel heard, and I accept it.”
Marcus: “Yes. I feel heard, and I accept it.”
Red-Team Check
- Youth perspective: Adults should not discuss a young person’s behavior where other participants can hear it. Youth should also have a safe and age-appropriate way to share their POV.
- Staff perspective: A supervisor serving as mediator has authority over both workers. Nina must allow honest disagreement and avoid pressuring either person to accept a remedy.
- Safeguarding perspective: Immediate safety and required reporting duties come before mediation. PeaceDNA can support communication, but it does not replace emergency procedures, behavior policies, documentation, or mandated-reporting requirements.
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